Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
look no pants
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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