Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
