Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
