I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
