I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
