is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
false alarm, still single
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
