Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
