Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
do herpes really smell.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
