Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
