So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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