no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
