and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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