Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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