can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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