So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
