he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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