Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
