well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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