So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
