we're chasing vodka with high fives
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize