i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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