i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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