He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
