Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
tell me about the fingering
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