He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
