but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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