She's JV to your varsity
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
