At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I need to align my fucking chakras
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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