WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
