saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
