I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
