'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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