I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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