He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
