I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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