redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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