And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So much rum. So many feels.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
