i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
