i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
