I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
