Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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