i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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