Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
