dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
