With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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