All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize