He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
