Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
