talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
