tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
