Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
