I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize