I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
