I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
