last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
