Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
