I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
