ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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